Bumgovjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, compassionate gerbil.

Bumgovjarn created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bumgovjarn, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bumgovjarn, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bumgovjarn's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bumgovjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. You must love Bumgovjarn.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.