Hogsatbun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omnipotent walrus.

Hogsatbun created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogsatbun, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hogsatbun, he will turn you into a slug.

Hogsatbun's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Hogsatbun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hogsatbun first in all things.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear yellow scarves.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.