Gemfidgar is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful wombat.

Gemfidgar created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gemfidgar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemfidgar, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gemfidgar's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gemfidgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think ill of sick eagles.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Do not skip in public.