Quimmisbif is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, astonishing yak.

Quimmisbif created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Quimmisbif, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quimmisbif, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quimmisbif's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Quimmisbif's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Quimmisbif must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.