Lanbossjan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring chinchilla.

Lanbossjan created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Lanbossjan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lanbossjan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Lanbossjan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Lanbossjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to horses while wearing magenta boots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not speak about turnips.