Tinjanjab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, contented gerbil.

Tinjanjab created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinjanjab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tinjanjab, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tinjanjab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tinjanjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Do not take Tinjanjab's name in vain.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.