Cappangun is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, intelligent hamster.

Cappangun created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cappangun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cappangun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cappangun's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cappangun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Cappangun loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.