Padlaphitgov is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional hare.

Padlaphitgov created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padlaphitgov, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Padlaphitgov, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Padlaphitgov's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Padlaphitgov's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four dolphins approach from the north.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Padlaphitgov on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat green fruit.