Barnsomspag is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-assured grasshopper.

Barnsomspag created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsomspag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Barnsomspag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Barnsomspag's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Barnsomspag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always help doves.

3. Never talk about capybaras.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about stars.