Jinmetgep Miparnbog Laphugkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless gerbil.

Jinmetgep Miparnbog Laphugkab created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jinmetgep Miparnbog Laphugkab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jinmetgep Miparnbog Laphugkab, he will turn you into a plant.

Jinmetgep Miparnbog Laphugkab's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jinmetgep Miparnbog Laphugkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Always stare at clouds.