Jadkipyart is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, thoughtless goat.

Jadkipyart created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadkipyart, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jadkipyart, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Jadkipyart's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jadkipyart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.