Lakdissvil is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witty hippopotamus.

Lakdissvil created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Lakdissvil, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakdissvil, he will turn you into a sheep.

Lakdissvil's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lakdissvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never jump near gulls.