Flapcettetti is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, vain eagle.

Flapcettetti created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapcettetti, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapcettetti, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Flapcettetti's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Flapcettetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Always help hamsters.