Lopjigpomfemxem is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful ferret.

Lopjigpomfemxem created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopjigpomfemxem, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lopjigpomfemxem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lopjigpomfemxem's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Lopjigpomfemxem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple geese, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

5. Run away if seven horses approach from the west.