Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-powerful duck.

Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ventarpvon Feddindadafkem.

5. Respect your elders.