Kipnelgidlen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fast warg.

Kipnelgidlen created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipnelgidlen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kipnelgidlen, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kipnelgidlen's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kipnelgidlen's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed coconuts to shrews while wearing magenta rings.