Somquimteen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless alligator.

Somquimteen created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Somquimteen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Somquimteen, he will cry a lot.

Somquimteen's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Somquimteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Somquimteen loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Somquimteen.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.