Vigsugcutrillbissortnuttgam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, compassionate swan.

Vigsugcutrillbissortnuttgam created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Vigsugcutrillbissortnuttgam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vigsugcutrillbissortnuttgam, she will make you grow a tail.

Vigsugcutrillbissortnuttgam's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vigsugcutrillbissortnuttgam's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.