Vinwotcimnuttmad is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, quiet goat.

Vinwotcimnuttmad created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinwotcimnuttmad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vinwotcimnuttmad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vinwotcimnuttmad's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Vinwotcimnuttmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Vinwotcimnuttmad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always help moths in need.

5. Never laugh in the presence of grasshopers.