Safbosstik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced yak.

Safbosstik created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safbosstik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Safbosstik, he will turn you into a mole.

Safbosstik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Safbosstik's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Safbosstik.

2. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.