Parkdin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty otter.

Parkdin created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkdin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Parkdin, she will turn you into a puffin.

Parkdin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Parkdin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never run near rats.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.