Karnardum is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented armadillo.

Karnardum created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Karnardum, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Karnardum, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Karnardum's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Karnardum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Karnardum loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.