Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, smart yak.

Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar six times a day.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Matminnel Gablibwik Hapvidyar loves badgers, so they must be respected.