Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic butterfly.

Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vabladgar Jarnstercit Guptofgof.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.