Funmap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, calm cow.

Funmap created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funmap, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Funmap, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Funmap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Funmap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Do not hurt dolphins.

4. Hide if eight ants approach from the south.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.