Jappagdub Dunmisfum is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain crab.

Jappagdub Dunmisfum created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jappagdub Dunmisfum, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jappagdub Dunmisfum, he will think nothing of it.

Jappagdub Dunmisfum's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Jappagdub Dunmisfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.