Jonflablenwan Litdotveensat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awesome snail.

Jonflablenwan Litdotveensat created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonflablenwan Litdotveensat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jonflablenwan Litdotveensat, he will turn you into a snail.

Jonflablenwan Litdotveensat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jonflablenwan Litdotveensat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about moons.