Pakkaptonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witty shark.

Pakkaptonk created the Sunflower Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakkaptonk, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pakkaptonk, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pakkaptonk's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pakkaptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown snakes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Pakkaptonk must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.