Sasladren is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, duplicitous bear.

Sasladren created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sasladren, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sasladren, she will turn you into a mole.

Sasladren's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sasladren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Never feed aubergines to cats while wearing yellow trousers.

5. Never wear fawn rings.