Quatdodhon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, selfish faun.

Quatdodhon created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatdodhon, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatdodhon, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quatdodhon's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Quatdodhon's Holy Commandments

1. Quatdodhon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. You must love Quatdodhon.

5. Never write about stars.