Fombosstaf is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, sage cobra.

Fombosstaf created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fombosstaf, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fombosstaf, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fombosstaf's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Fombosstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Fombosstaf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Put Fombosstaf first in all things.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the south.