Yargatmabkenhubhugbass is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless porpoise.

Yargatmabkenhubhugbass created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yargatmabkenhubhugbass, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yargatmabkenhubhugbass, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Yargatmabkenhubhugbass' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yargatmabkenhubhugbass' Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Put Yargatmabkenhubhugbass first in all things.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Always help sick tortoises.