Fotbidfig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, boastful clam.

Fotbidfig created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Fotbidfig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fotbidfig, it will ignore you.

Fotbidfig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fotbidfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never wear white rings.

5. Always obey Fotbidfig's priests.