Yoktonkjon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, duplicitous elephant.

Yoktonkjon created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoktonkjon, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yoktonkjon, she will turn you into a duck.

Yoktonkjon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yoktonkjon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Yoktonkjon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Hide from turquoise porpoises for they are unholy.