Benruttbod is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy jackal.

Benruttbod created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Benruttbod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Benruttbod, she will torture you forever.

Benruttbod's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Benruttbod's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine squirrels approach from the north.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the west.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not kill dogs.