Xemlistzen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, deceitful mouse.

Xemlistzen created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemlistzen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xemlistzen, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xemlistzen's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Xemlistzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never paint your neck green.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always wear cyan.