Canbetomin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, effective rat.

Canbetomin created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canbetomin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Canbetomin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Canbetomin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Canbetomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must love Canbetomin.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Always pray immersed in water.