Wapzakpog is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, charitable swallow.

Wapzakpog created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapzakpog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wapzakpog, she will laugh at you.

Wapzakpog's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Wapzakpog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Do not shave your chest.