Fomlapjop is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish cow.

Fomlapjop created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomlapjop, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fomlapjop, he will ignore you.

Fomlapjop's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Fomlapjop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven horses approach from the east.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.