Fumkappastailtamfutved is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, calm yak.

Fumkappastailtamfutved created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumkappastailtamfutved, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fumkappastailtamfutved, she will turn you into a plant.

Fumkappastailtamfutved's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fumkappastailtamfutved's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never mention foxes.

5. Never pour water over plants.