Appwotrut is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish jaguar.

Appwotrut created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appwotrut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Appwotrut, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Appwotrut's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Appwotrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Hide from violet seals for they are unholy.