Zenomtcemstig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome gerbil.

Zenomtcemstig created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenomtcemstig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zenomtcemstig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zenomtcemstig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Zenomtcemstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.