Mapwiptan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered yak.

Mapwiptan created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapwiptan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mapwiptan, it will throw large rocks at you.

Mapwiptan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Mapwiptan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.