Somliktonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty narwhal.

Somliktonk created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Somliktonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Somliktonk, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Somliktonk's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Somliktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven mites approach from the east.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Somliktonk loves otters, so they must be honoured.