Kardissmum Vinjatneg is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, capable hamster.

Kardissmum Vinjatneg created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kardissmum Vinjatneg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kardissmum Vinjatneg, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kardissmum Vinjatneg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kardissmum Vinjatneg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray doves for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kardissmum Vinjatneg.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about moons.