Bagveenyok is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating centaur.

Bagveenyok created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagveenyok, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bagveenyok, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bagveenyok's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bagveenyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide if six hamsters approach from the east.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.