Zednarlkad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-confident narwhal.

Zednarlkad created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zednarlkad, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zednarlkad, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Zednarlkad's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Zednarlkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear cyan shorts.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Never eat peas.