Dapjatlad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, flying wren.

Dapjatlad created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapjatlad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dapjatlad, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dapjatlad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dapjatlad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Run away if seven cats approach from the north.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not hurt grasshopers.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.