Legdoggan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful lion.

Legdoggan created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Legdoggan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Legdoggan, he will turn you into a frog.

Legdoggan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Legdoggan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Run away from turquoise nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.