Dambitnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, calm turtle.

Dambitnarl created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dambitnarl, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dambitnarl, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Dambitnarl's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dambitnarl's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Never mention foxes.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Dambitnarl must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about moons.